Return of the Wallpaper: This Time It’s Personal

Did you know that there is *special* wall paper paste, specifically designed to put up wallpaper borders with? Did you know that it’s extra-sticky, so it will adhere to the smooth finish found on most wallpaper? The idea is that if you’re putting up a border, you’re probably wallpapering the rest of the wall in a complementary pattern, because there is just not enough wallpaper stuck on the planet already and you should, if possible, try to incorporate into your every aesthetic scheme.

Guess what happens when somebody who doesn’t care to delve too deeply into the Wonderful World of Wall Decor applies a wallpaper border with the aforementioned, extra-sticky, special borders-only adhesive directly to a non-wallpapered wall.

Yes. It means I am still picking paste out of my hair.

Removing wallpaper is a dirty job. There is a reason that guy in central park used fabric *and not wallpaper* for his installation.

Below: a much needed public awareness campaign.

Wallpaper: Just Say No.

This is Your Brain on Wallpaper (The graphic here is self-explanatory, I think. It involves a .45)

Wallpaper Linked to Baldness, Impotence and Cellulite, say scientists.

Children Exposed to wallpaper as infants show signs of Impaired Taste by age 3.

Certain wallpapers retard the growth of houseplants.

9 out of 10 Skeezy Guys at The Bar say wallpaper offends even them.

Little known fact: When Harvard divested in South Africa years ago to show opposition to Apartheid, it also removed all wallpaper from its campus.

Waterboarding, Wallpaper. They don’t sound alike for nothing.

Thinking about removing wallpaper as a DIY project? I say, just get a sledge & knock down the damn wall. Easier, cheaper, much more fun.

1 Comment

Filed under Not about books at all really

One response to “Return of the Wallpaper: This Time It’s Personal

  1. Sharon

    I used to always say that if your marriage can survive a wallpapering project you know you’re in it for the long haul. I learned later that it isn’t true because we did survive wallpapering a bathroom one time, but we got divorced anyway. Oh well.

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